We all know (nearly) everyone is charmed by puppies and kittens, and it’s common knowledge that you can meet people of the opposite sex while out walking your dog. But if you really want to draw attention, try bringing an animal with you to a gathering, and the more exotic and unusual, the better. I’ve been to parties where people have brought rats (no, not the gross, (cough) ratty ones from the subway, but rather pet rats, which are pretty cool), turtles, hermit crabs, rabbits (watch out for droppings!), tarantulas in Lucite boxes, snakes of all sizes and colors, and the funniest of all, capuchin monkeys. (One grabbed my handbag and rummaged through it, and grabbed peoples’ drinks off the tables and drank ‘em all; another was dressed as a a ballerina, but had absolutely no grace and couldn’t execute a plié.)

Yes, there will be people who will be scared silly by animals, but if you bring a well-behaved animal who won’t be frightened by the noise, lights, and movement, and if you’re careful not to let it get away (and don’t be a dickwad and shove it into peoples’ faces!), people will be transfixed by your pet. (It doesn’t have to be yours; borrow one, or bring a friend who owns one and share the spotlight.) You’ll be the center attention, and everyone will want to approach the guy/girl with the cool pet. You needn’t do anything more than remove the pet from your pocket/briefcase/backpack/carrying case and then talk to it, pet it, or whatever it is you do with it, and someone will approach out of curiosity, and then another will, and another, and soon, you’ll be answering questions, being asked whether someone can touch/hold the thing, and so on. And, naturally, you’ll be making friends (also called “dates”)!

Just remember to use your head: nothing poisonous, nothing that bites, and nothing that can squeeze someone to death. It’s all fun and games until someone dies thanks to your pet, right?