This afternoon, I was sitting eating a salad in a deli and at the next table, there sat a couple of raucous young girls who seemed to model themselves after Paris Hilton if Paris Hilton wore knockoff fashions and accessories. Tentatively circling them was a young fellow whose manner and appearance was a lot like Michael Cera from the movie Juno. He’d sit down, look at them, them get up to get some ketchup, look at them, then sit down, then get up again, walk past them again, then sit down, then pine, then get up again; it was clear he wanted to speak to them, but he didn’t have the nerve. It was almost physically painful for me to watch; had this been a movie, these girls would have been in the “popular” group, while he would have been cast as the “nerd.”

Much to my surprise, he finally stood up and haltingly approached their table and managed to to make it all the way there, though I worried that he’d trip or faint on the way. It appeared to take everything he had in him to get there. As he stood there, the girls pretended not to see him, and kept right on with their laughing and talking. His face bright pink, he said, “Hi.” They went silent, looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and turned to look at him. Then they looked him up and down and suddenly, they barked out a laugh as if they’d just heard a punchline to a joke. The laugh clearly said, “Are you speaking to us?!”

His face turned purple and he rocked on his feet, and he glanced at me; I guess he could feel me watching. Then he turned and left, fast, not even returning for his uneaten food. I know how he felt; I can remember how the “popular” girls treated me in high school (while they didn’t laugh to my face, it was to my back, which seemed even worse). I wouldn’t have known what to say to those girls had I been in his shoes, either, but I know what to say to them now: that you’re not gonna be pretty forever, and when your looks are gone, you’re going to hafta fall back on your personalities. If you have an ugly personality, well, then you’re gonna be screwed.

Girls, if a man approaches you and, for whatever reason, you don’t find him appealing, it won’t kill you to treat him with kindness. As a matter of fact, karma dictates that you treat him with kindness, otherwise it’ll come back to bite you in the ass someday. The biggest reason for being pleasant: word can spread that you’re a bitch if you behave like a bitch. But it is sooooo easy to simply be kind and pleasant that there’s no reason not to be! If someone offers to buy you a drink and you’d rather he didn’t, simply thank him and say you’ve had your limit, you’re here with someone, you have a boyfriend, you’re on your way out the door, you’re taking medication, you don’t drink, whatever! Same goes if someone asks you for your number, your email address, asks you on a date… it will not kill you to be polite. I swear!

Now if it’s a total dickoid who’s sweeping through a club or a restaurant making a scene and frightening all the ladies? By all means, blow that sucker off! But your average, everyday, regular guy? Don’t go kicking him in the nads for no good reason. Treat him with the respect with which you yourself want to be treated. It’s the right thing to do.