Are you lamenting the fact that you can’t find anyone good in bars, lounges, and clubs? You’re not alone; I hear that all the time. It’s because those are among the worst places to look for a potential date. (If you’re looking for a hookup, however, they top of the list.) Looking there for good date material is like looking for diamonds underneath garbage cans in an alley. The good stuff is right under your nose, every day, and you’re walking right past it.

One of my favorite places to look for dates is in bookstores. All your dates are categorized right there for you! If cooking is your thing, go look in the cooking aisle and if you see someone attractive, you’ve already got something to talk about (“Have you read this book here yet? This really is outstanding. That book you’ve got there? I found it to be too heavy on the sugar,” etc.) If you’re the shy type, plunking yourself down in a chair with a book for awhile will usually draw someone to you … just use some care when picking a book to read. (“Help for People with Enormously Heavy Mental Baggage” probably won’t net you many admirers.)

Another is on public transportation. Ask an attractive stranger for directions, even when you don’t need them, just to get a conversation going. Comment on a stranger’s shoes/shirt/iPhone/bag/the news/the transportation/etc. Practice making eye contact and smiling. If you use public transportation , you do this 250 days a year, so make the most of it!

The grocery store is yet another terrific place to meet potential dates. There is an infinite number of possible things to say to strangers (“What type of melon is this? Have you ever eaten it before? Do you know how to prepare this type of fish? I’m making Indian food for dinner, but I forgot to bring the recipe with me. Do you know what sort of spices I should buy? Does this wine go with this meat?” Is this the type of thing I need to baste? Can you explain to me what ‘brining’ entails?”) Most people love to feel helpful and will happily answer your questions, so you needn’t feel awkward. It isn’t even a “pickup” because you (you sneak!) are asking real questions (even if you don’t need the answers!) so your target ought not even be aware of what you’re doing (which is sizing the target up and, ideally, demonstrating some charm).

These ideas should get the gears in your brain grinding away as you think of other places you go every day where you can innocuously chat up a stranger. Remember that if you suddenly spot a ring on your intended target’s finger, or if a child suddenly springs up out of nowhere, no harm, no foul. You were simply asking some questions! And if not, if the opportunity arises that the two of you are able to meet for coffee, drinks, or dinner, then come tell me how it went in a response to this post! Remember all the details so others can try out what you did, and good luck!